Dear Self,
Hey Buddy, this is you from one
year in the future. I wanted to write you a letter so you could brace yourself
for what is to come. This argument and breakup you have had with Dan is final.
It is not something you will get over in a week and get back together. It is
something you will suffer through for at least a year. Don’t get discouraged by
this information, it is for the best.
If you think you are sad now, I want
you to brace yourself for more disappointment and sadness through the next
year. You are going to have emotions that hit you so hard you will have to hide
for a while to cry it out. You are strong and will make it through, but pain is
real and it demands your attention. Let it out, cry when you need to because it
really does help. As much as you will
want it you will never see Dan show any emotion towards you. He doesn’t care
enough to check on you to make sure you are taking the breakup okay. He doesn’t
keep his promises, this is something you noticed recently and it doesn’t
change, his promises actually are worth less than dirt now. You can no longer trust
this guy. I know the strong and intimate feelings you had for him. I know how
much it physically hurts when you think of him. You were thrown to the side
like a piece of used trash. He didn’t even have the decency to discuss things
with you. You will try to get closure and work things out but I want you to
know that you will see a side of him that is dark and emotionless. He doesn’t love
you, and it’s questionable if he ever did. His selfishness and though process
is all about him and always will be.
Dan
will get the job you pushed him to apply for. You will try and get it in people’s
heads that he is the one for the job. By doing this you are hoping deep down
that this will help you two get back together because you will see each other
more when you work together than you did before. Although the job was filled by
him all your thoughts don’t come true on that. He actually really hurts you so
bad because of the possibility of dating someone you both work with will arise.
You will spend hours crying to two amazing people that will always be there when
you need a good cry. These women are some of the best people you know. Respect
them and what they have to say.
The more
you work with Dan the more people you will tell about your relationship with
him. Follow your feelings and tell the right people because they will be a
benefit to you when you have a bad day. They will tell you your worth and how
you are a much classier person than Dan and the people he collects in his life.
I wish you could see it now how you made it out of a toxic environment.
Although you say to others how much you don’t like him, there will always be a
part of you that will love him and miss him. You will feel wounded and hurt
when you see the quality people he keeps in his life over you. You will feel
less than trash. You need to surround yourself with those amazing people God
has placed in your life.
This
year there are things that will make you question your belief in God. Do not
let your faith waiver. Science cannot
prove God exists but it cannot deny it either. All the good personal
conversations you had about God and religion with Dan will become void when you
hear his vile mouth talk and defile things you hold so deep in your heart. You
deserve a person who will have the same respect about God as you do. Hold on to
your beliefs.
Work
will be the worst place you will be every day. I still feel the stress and
emotional deterioration today. Remember those who make the best of the worst
situation there. Stick with them because they are lights in a dark place. Hold
on just a little longer.
School
is harder than ever. Make sure to study and focus on school as a pass-time
rather than thinking of Dan and what he is doing. Put your energy into
something that will get you away from that Hell hole you call a job.
When
you date do not be surprised or offended when someone tells you they dated Dan.
You will learn more about him from strangers and dates than you learnt while
dating him. Do not get discouraged over this because Dan is a person who keeps
secrets and that is what ruined your relationship. You might blame yourself for
some things, but you need to remember that purple is only perfectly made with
even amounts of red and blue.
Last
thing I want you to understand is that you are an amazing person, a strong
person who has to have his heart ripped out, shredded and smashed to understand
people more. You might not think you fall in love quickly, but you need to
realize you do. You will love again too, someone much better than Dan. Think of
how you hold your friendships in high regard. Think of how you felt after
trying to break up with Dan after dating him for two months. You were in love.
You will always love him no matter what. That is unconditional love. What you
need to remember is that he gave up on you. You should feel sorry for him
because you would have never given up on him.
With
love,
Your
Future You
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